Pictured: the culprit.

I am mortified. Traumatised. I'm a different woman since the incident. I thought it would never happen to me, but it did. At least I was home and alone, but now I fear it will happen when I'm in public. I can never trust a fart ever again. My body betrayed me and I will never recover.

toasted ham and cheese baguette with pickled peppers and olives on the side

Food was great, the rest of the night not so much, everything was fine betwen us until last night.

My bf (28M) and I (24F) have been together for 3 years. Last night we ordered takeout and played a couples card game called Fight Night its about money, relationships and how you grew up. I thought it would just be a fun date night but one of the questions asked how our parents handled money growing up.

He told me his dad always controlled the finances, paid the bills and made all the big decisions. His mom never had a say in any of it, but he thinks their marriage worked great. Then he said that's exactly how he'd want our marriage to be. I asked if that meant I'd have to ask his permission to spend money and he said not for little things but if hes earning more, he should have more say in financial decisions.

I told him I dont want a marriage where one person controls everything just because they make more money. He kept saying that's how he grew up and that I was making a big deal out of a hypothetical question. We ended up arguing and I've been sleeping on the couch since. I don't even feel like being intimate with him right now. The worst part is we've talked about getting married before and I had no idea he thought this way.

I love him, but now I wanna know what else we might completely disagree on. Any advice?

I (f29) got married today. It's a happy sad occasion - my husband was fine in June, and got sick in July. In September he was hospitalised for 3 weeks and they told us he has cancer in 3 places. On 13th October, we met his oncologist, who told us he can't withstand any treatment as he declined so quickly, and he is very much at the end of his life with a few weeks left.

So, last week we got an emergency at home wedding (thanks palliative team for making that possible!) And today we had a small celebration with a celebrant, family, friends and a nice dinner that he couldn't eat. We said vows and listened to harp music and he barely managed to stay conscious most of the time, but he enjoyed himself and we got lovely photos and memories from it.

He is so exhausted and close to the end, that he fell into a deep sleep as soon as it was over.

So, here I am, eating a vegan spicy burrito from Chilango for my wedding dinner, cuddling my dogs, and listening to my husbands breathing next to me, because I constantly fear this is the moment he dies, and soon I will be right.

For context, we have been together for 5 years. (me 37F, him 41M) and this has been an issue the whole time, but he threw a fit over it last night and I just can't take it anymore.

When my boyfriend needs to take a dump, it is a whole thing that will last at least an hour and has gone on for almost 3 hours before. He holds his 💩 for hours or days sometimes until the time that he has designated it is time to drop the kids off at the pool.

In the beginning, I accused him of cheating since he will literally lock himself in the bathroom for almost 3 hours until quite literally everyone of his friends and family have made some veiled complaint about the fact that he will hog the bathroom for *hours* in end. He claims his bowels move slow but he will decide when he has to poop. And if he has decided he has to poop, then that's it, if he misses the window, he holds it until another opens up.

We used to have fairly different schedules, but now we are getting home from our jobs at around the same time. I like to shower when I get home. I have a very public facing job in a very public place so it's not uncommon to get coughed on, sit in ugly cloth chairs that 1500 people have sat in before me, I constantly get sick because of the germs, etc. So I want to wash all that off me at the end of the day. And when I shower, it is usually around 12 - 15 minutes (20 if I wash my hair, which I do about 2x a week). Apparently this week my shower time has interfered with my boyfriend's poop schedule. Keep in mind that he will sometimes be sitting on the couch with half a beer in his hand when I get home (so obviously he didn't *just* get home) but somehow he couldn't reschedule his poop for the 12 minutes it took me shower).

Last night we went on a tirade about how the dog and I "haven't let him shit in 3 days" (the dog needs walking which he insists on doing because it's *his* dog). He stormed around, went in and out of the bathroom about 3 times just to come back out and say "All I want to do is take a shit and you two haven't let me in 3 days!" And generally acting like a toddler.

So, if I get home while he is in the bathroom, I have to wait at least an hour for a shower. If he gets home and I'm in the shower, he has to wait 12 min and that is unacceptable because for some reason he can't take a dump in the ½ bath because he says he has to go from the toilet to the shower to clean his ass.

His tirade upset me so much because I do genuinely try to hurry in the shower and take as little time as possible. Now I feel like I have to ask his permission to shower in my own home and whatever I do it is just never good enough and he is always angry. He refuses to use the ½ bath which I feel like is better than throwing a tantrum, especially when you *know* I only take max 20 mins to shower.

I cried myself to sleep because that was all I needed on top of a really taxing week.

Dinner is leftover charcuterie with Laughing cow cheese, crackers, chicken salad, some peach wine from Aldi out of frame.