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Decay Chain

xkcd.com

1 April 2025 at 19:00

If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.

Orogeny

xkcd.com

30 March 2025 at 19:00

Most properties can only boast INDOOR heated floors.

Terror Bird

xkcd.com

27 March 2025 at 19:00

There has long been debate about Big Bird's species, with some experts claiming he was a canary, but recent genetic analysis places him firmly in Cariamiformes.

Rock Identification

xkcd.com

25 March 2025 at 19:00

'Is it worth anything?' 'I dunno, is the answer to that question worth another $5?'

SawStart

xkcd.com

23 March 2025 at 19:00

Unfortunately, SawStart is one-use-only. Once started, the blade cannot be stopped, and must be replaced with a fresh blade while the running one is carefully disposed of.

Cosmic Distance Calibration

xkcd.com

20 March 2025 at 19:00

This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.

Square Units

xkcd.com

18 March 2025 at 19:00

The biggest I've seen in a published source in the wild is an 80-fold error in a reported distance, which I think came from a series of at least three unit conversions and area/length misinterpretations.

Lungfish

xkcd.com

16 March 2025 at 19:00

I know having so many base pairs makes rebasing complicated, but you're in Bilateria, so shouldn't you at LEAST be better at using git head?

Planet Definitions

xkcd.com

13 March 2025 at 19:00

Under the 'has cleared its orbital neighborhood' and 'fuses hydrogen into helium' definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.

Off By One

xkcd.com

11 March 2025 at 19:00

It does come at the small cost of a LOT more off-by-40-or-50 errors.

Water Balloons

xkcd.com

9 March 2025 at 19:00

Update: The physics department has recruited an astronomer who studies meteor fireballs.

Omniroll

xkcd.com

6 March 2025 at 19:00

It seems wrong that Fruit by the Foot is only sold by weight or by number of rolls.

Water Damage

xkcd.com

4 March 2025 at 19:00

Your homeowner's insurance might cover it, but be sure to check the subductible.

Tall Structures

xkcd.com

2 March 2025 at 19:00

Briefly set a new record for tallest human-made structure by getting my knit sweater snagged on the skydiving plane door as I jumped and not noticing until I'd landed.

Excusing Yourself

xkcd.com

27 February 2025 at 19:00

The most awkward part is when you have to pause to put on your shoes before you continue rolling out the door.

RNA

xkcd.com

25 February 2025 at 19:00

2040s: RNA formed the basis for life each of the five known times it arose on the early Earth.

Giants

xkcd.com

23 February 2025 at 19:00

I can't get over the suspicion that all those viral pictures are photoshopped and 'Flemish' belongs in the lower right circle.

Scream Cipher

xkcd.com

20 February 2025 at 19:00

AAAAAA A ÃA̧AȂA̦ ǍÅÂÃĀÁȂ AAAAAAA!

KM3NeT

xkcd.com

18 February 2025 at 19:00

Unfortunately, KM3NeT led to the discovery of the Pauli anglerfish, which emits Cherenkov radiation to prey on neutrino researchers.

Archive Request

xkcd.com

16 February 2025 at 19:00

They just want researchers in the enclosure to feel enriched and stimulated. ('The Enclosure' is what archivists call the shadowy world outside their archives in which so many people are trapped.)